Be Proactive and Your Relationship Will Survive a New Baby

Start before your baby arrives to get your relationship back on track more quickly. Photo by  J.K. Califf /Flickr  CC 2.0

Start before your baby arrives to get your relationship back on track more quickly. Photo by J.K. Califf/Flickr CC 2.0

Things change with a new baby in the house. With your hormones in overdrive, your focus can become baby, baby, baby.

This shift in your relationship is completely normal and natural, but it should be temporary. However, if you’re not aware of the pitfalls before they happen, you can easily join the almost 2/3 of couples that report a decline in relationship satisfaction once they add a baby to their family.

Remember that it won’t always be like this. It’s easy to get in the situation, especially at first, when you’re just so tired and thinking it’s going to be like that forever.
— Veteran Mom at Boot Camp

Good news, though. Your relationship doesn’t have to go downhill and with a little advance awareness, it can be stronger than ever.

Talk about the changes you’ve read about here before your baby comes, and it will then be easier to re-visit the topic once the baby is a couple of months old.

Once you survive the first month or two with a brand new infant, start finding ways for you and Dad to connect again as a couple. It doesn’t (and believe us, it won’t) have to be a full on date night to start.

Maybe a glass of wine in the backyard while the baby is sleeping. Perhaps a walk to the corner coffee shop while a friend or relative babysits. Could be just watching your favorite TV show together, or even reading together in bed. The point is that you’re making the effort. You’re taking small steps. And you’re acknowledging the importance of being connected and making the relationship a priority.

Change isn’t always a bad thing; just embrace it together as a team, check-in with one another through the hard times and that baby will make your relationship stronger than ever. 

When was your first date with Dad after baby arrived? Do you feel like it made a difference to have time together?